Namesakes
by Ash-Varnei
Summary: James Sirius Potter. The eldest Potter boy, said to be just like his namesakes. But is that who he really is? And is that who he really wants to be? Oneshot


**Namesakes**

**Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter – If I did, would I really be using _fanfiction?_**

**A/N – I got this idea suddenly whilst I was eating dinner, and I just had to write it. Please tell me what you think, even if it's critisicm, it would be really useful to see how people like this style of writing compared to my usual writing style.**

James Sirius Potter

That's me. Eldest son of Harry James Potter (The-Boy-Who-Lived, The Chosen One, The Saviour of the Wizarding World) and Ginevra Molly Potter (War heroine, Star chaser of the Holyhead Harpies). Doesn't leave much for me, does it?

Even my name isn't really _mine_. James is my Grandfather's name; Sirius is my Dad's Godfather's name. James Potter and Sirius Black. War heroes, Animagi, legendary pranksters.

And that's my problem. With my name, everybody expects me to be some kind of extreme prankster, always joking around, getting into trouble. But the thing is, that's not me. I mean, I like a good prank just as much as anybody, but that doesn't mean I want to spend all my time planning pranks. For one thing, pranks usually end in detention, or some other horribly boring punishment. And I prefer _not_ to be spending my free time scrubbing cauldrons. Also, pranking just isn't my thing. Yes, it's funny, and thrilling to do occasionally, but I prefer not to be creeping around in the dead of night, setting up some prank, when I could be fast asleep in bed.

I just wish that everyone would realise that I'm _not_ like my namesakes in that respect: I'm _not_ a major prankster, I _don't_ joke around all the time, I _absolutely hate_ getting into trouble for something as meagre as a prank. I would much rather be said to be like my namesakes because of their other qualities: their bravery, talents and love for their families (or adopted families in Sirius' case.) I would love to be in Gryffindor like them, to eventually become an animagus like them, to have the bravery to be willing and able to die for my family. But the problem is, no-one else really ever thinks about that side of them, and because they were trouble-makers, I'm expected to be a trouble-maker. And it sucks.

When I was younger, I spent a lot of time thinking I needed to live up to their expectations, and follow the path they set me upon. When Uncle George decided to start teaching me about pranks, and jokes and all his merchandise: how to use it, and later how to make it, I was happy, because I thought that that way I could start to live up to everyone's expectations of me. When my younger brother and cousins started getting older, I teased them, and pranked them, because I thought I was meant to, I thought I had to. I _wanted_ to be like my Grandfather and my great-godfather. I wanted to hear my parents, and my Aunts and Uncles, and Grandparents, and family friends say _'Isn't he like James_' or _'how like Sirius'_.

But now, since I've been to Hogwarts, and grown up a bit, been out of the influence of the majority of my family, I've realised that I don't want that any more. I want to become my own person, someone who isn't just the shadow of their namesakes. Someone special. But it's almost as though I've realised this too late. I feel like I _can't_ change now. It's just too natural for me to joke, and prank, and tease my brother, Al.

Al. It's so much easier for him. Yes, he's been overshadowed as well, been named after two great, great men. Two amazing war heroes. Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape. In some ways, that could be worse for him, seeing as everyone in the wizarding world has heard of Albus Dumbledore, and most have heard of Snape, especially those who have family who were taught by him.. But then, he doesn't have as much to live up to. It's like, they did such great things, that no-one expects anyone to be able to match their achievements, not even the younger son of Harry Potter. And anyway, Al is sort of like them. He's very studious, always reading. He's only a first year, but from what I've seen he's also brilliant at magic. Not in the way Rose is, she's like Aunt Hermione, great at magic, and knows everything about it as well. Al's quiet, he just gets on with stuff, and he's getting really good marks and stuff without anyone _really_ noticing him properly. Probably because he's still hanging around with Rose. Kind of overshadows you a bit. Anyway, I'm getting off track here.

So, now I'm trying to deal with the fact that I'm not the person I want to be. I'm not totally sure who or what I really want to be, but I know I'm not really on the right path to whatever that is.

But there's nothing I can do. Because there's the part of me that's still a kid at heart, and that part of me still wants to please my family by being the shadow of my namesakes. And although the rest of me is fighting that part of me, I don't seem to be able to stop myself from being like that. And even if I do, then either no-one really notices, or they mistake an action for me doing something my 'normal' self would do, or they think I'm ill. I can't blame them really, but it's just _so_ frustrating at times.

So all I can do is try and change. And even if they don't notice immediately, then I'll just have to do something brilliant, and hope that one day, everyone will see me for who I really am.

James Sirius Potter.

**Thanks for reading!**


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